Contrarian

Come on!
You always disagree!

I know a guy, he makes me quite irate
Anything I like he automatically hates
He’s a contrarian,
You can never be right!
He’s a contrarian

If all of his friends say they like a flick
He’ll say it’s lame just to be a dick
He’s a contrarian,
“I don’t have to see the movie.”
He’s a contrarian

He’ll argue for days on end
Just because to him that’s fun
Never ending!
He’s a contrarian

He’ll say the opposite thing just to egg you on
If the whole room is pro, you know he’s gonna be con…
Khan!!
He’s a contrarian,
Everybody’s always wrong!
He’s a contrarian

He never takes time to think things through
Automatic!
He just disagrees because he thinks he’s better than you
He’s a contrarian,
“Pfff, yeah, you’d think that.”
He’s a contrarian

He could score more points than you and somehow say he won
“I played smarter.”
He’s a contrarian

Watch him now!
None of his beliefs are held deeply
It’s all on the surface!
Blindly choosing the opposite takes no thought
It’s so predictable!
If all of his friends became contrarians like him
He’d say, “oh, that’s what you are? Then I’m not.”

He’ll spend all day quoting useless facts,
All of his videos are Betamax
Betamax!
He’s a contrarian,
“It’s a superior technology”
He’s a contrarian
“It’s not that inconvenient.”

Any agreement just makes him tense
So he’ll argue things that don’t make sense
He’s a contrarian,
“I just don’t think puppies are that cute.”
No!
He’s a contrarian
“Sunshine? Bah!”

He would join the NRA just to say he doesn’t like guns
Bwoh! Bwoh! Bwoh!
He’s a contrary…
He’s a contrary…
A very, very contrarian
Contrarian!

©2013 Paravonian